Non-Traditional Office Christmas Party Ideas

Who said that all holiday traditions apply when it comes to office Christmas party ideas?

With the holiday season approaching, it may be time to start planning your annual office Christmas party. Incorporating some non-traditional themes or activities can help bring people together and provide an opportunity to do good for the local community. 

Fresh Office Christmas Party Ideas

Host a Potluck and Celebrate Diversity

Potlucks are popular for communal gatherings such as holiday parties. Have your attendees bring a dish representing their heritage to put a fun spin on a traditional Christmas potluck. A heritage-inspired potluck celebrates diversity and allows everyone to try new, delicious foods while bringing everyone closer together. 

Secret Santa - Bring Joy to Children in Need

Secret Santa is another popular Christmas office tradition. This year, in the spirit of the season of giving, have everyone from the office donate an unopened, unwrapped toy to an organization such as Toys 4 Tots. Charity organizations such as these help to bring joy to children in need during the holiday season.

The Gift of Your Time - Helping Those Less Fortunate

The holiday season can be difficult for those in need, both financially and emotionally. Set up a time for everyone to contribute to a local homeless shelter or children's home. Ways you can help include: 

• Helping to prepare warm, wholesome meals for the holidays.
• Decorating to make the environment more festive and cheery.
•  Say "hello" and strike up a conversation with someone who may be going through a hard time.

Organize a Raffle for Charity

Raffles can be a fun, exciting way to contribute to one of your favorite charities. Popular raffle prizes can vary from gift baskets, electronic devices, baked goods, and seasonal items. To do some good with this year's holiday raffle, specify that the proceeds are to be donated to the charity of the winner's choosing. 

For a list of top-rated charities for inspiration, visit Charity Navigator

Spread Holiday Cheer - Christmas Caroling

Among these office Christmas party ideas, this one is especially fun. If your office is near a nursing home or a children's hospital, consider Christmas caroling.

The holiday season is all about traditions, and one staple that seems to have faded is the art of Christmas caroling. In place of a traditional office Christmas party, organize an evening to go caroling in your local community to help boost morale and spread holiday cheer. To spread even more holiday cheer, make it a point to visit any local children's homes, retirement centers,  rehabilitation clinics, or homeless shelters. 

The holiday season is the time of the year that we understand it is sometimes better to give than to receive, although this sentiment holds true year-round. This year, especially in the aftermath of the recent pandemic, structuring your holiday office party and festivities around doing good for others is a way to help make the season brighter for everyone. These fresh office Christmas party ideas are sure to help you have a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Written by Seven Oaks Consulting contributor Laura LaFrenier.

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by Jeanne Grunert

How to Write a Business Email - Watch Your Tone

You may think you don't need to learn how to write a business email (or Slack message, or Skype). After all, you've probably been sending business emails for years, perhaps since you began working.

During this unusual time in history in which everyone is working virtually, learning how to write a business email is essential. Not just any email, but one that considers emotion and tone.

How to Write a Business Email

I'm older than most of you reading this, and I didn't begin my career writing emails. In fact, email didn't exist when I started my first full-time job.

Instead, when necessary, communications were typed in a specific format called a memo. These formal communications followed a very traditional format and tone; and, because they were typed (on an IBM Selectric, no less), each one was crafted with diligence and precision.

Emails, on the other hand, can be dashed off as quickly as one can type. Skype and Slack messages pose even great problems because they are often typed as part of the ebb and flow of a conversation.

These conversations taking place in cyberspace using pixels and emojis often lack the nuances of actual in-person conversations. Lacking physical expressions, gestures, and the subtle cues people give each other during the give-and-take of conversations, arguments, and meetings, they can be misunderstood.

Mind Your Tone! Emotional Mistakes Made in Writing

Have you ever been in an email war of words? It usually starts when one person mistakenly "reads" into the tone of the initial email. What began as an innocent attempt at communication ends up in a string of ever-increasing angry emails that may end up as a phone call or virtual meeting to straighten things out.

What leads to such email wars? Emotional mistakes in tone.

What is tone in writing?

Tone, according to the literary definition, is the attitude of the writer towards his or her subject.

Word choice conveys a great deal of the tone in any piece of literature, including instant messages, emails, and other communications.

Ritchie Blackmore, guitarist of the rock band Deep Purple, said something in a documentary on the making of their (awesome) album Machine Head (yes huge Purple fan here) that underscores the importance of tone.

"When things are positive, the management always says 'we' as in 'We're going up the charts!' But if something is negative, it's you: 'You're going down the charts.'"

Ritchie is sensitive to tone. The choice of management's words -- we verus you -- is a perfect illustration of tone. Sensitivity to tone enables him to read instantly into the situation. He knows that if the record company sends a message such as "Can you talk?" it's probably something unpleasant whereas "We would like to talk to you" it may be positive.

Words Matter

Your choice of words matters a great deal when crafting email messages. As you're writing your emails, your brain chooses words seemingly on its own. But your intuitive understanding of the connotation of each words - it's unspoken bias or meaning - helps you choose the "right" words to convey what you truly feel.

Learning How to Write a Business Email - 5 Steps to Avoid Miscommunication

Without the nuance of spoken language, emails can be construed as passive-aggressive. "Let's talk" can start an email war of words. "I'm not clear about the direction of the program - can we speak at 1 o'clock and go over the details?" is a much better way of asking for the same conversation.

Let's avoid those war of words and look at 5 steps to avoid miscommunication when you write a business email.

1. Pause before you hit send, especially when angry or upset. Your brain is merrily tootling along choosing words as your fingers fly across the keyboard. You may think that your message is neutral when you want to reach through the monitor and throttle a coworker, but your brain's circumventing your common sense and selects a few choice hot button words sure to begin the dreaded war or words. Pausing before you hit send, rereading messages, and changing hot button phrases can defuse problems before they start.
2. Watch out for typos. A typo may be simply that - a typo - or it can convey that you are so angry your fingers are flying over the keyboard. It can also make your communications appear rushed and unprofessional. While typos are common in instant messages and text, often due to the smaller keyboards and quick nature of the responses, eliminate typos from emails to avoid sending unintended messages about your urgency or tone. A program such as Grammarly, which can check all types of written communications including social media messages, instant messages, and emails, can highlight typos for correction on screen.
3. Walk away from the computer. Did something set you off? Walk away from the computer and let the message cool. We're all working in a strange environment now with kids screaming in the background, dogs barking, and the stress-relieving afternoon Starbucks run a thing of the past. As we learn how to navigate the new work from home environment in which kids need the computer, spouses need quiet to close a deal, and you need the video for a conference call, it's no wonder that little things trigger emotions. Walking away and pausing before answering can save a world of hurt.
4. Don't use emoticons. The Harvard Business Review (of all places) accepts the inevitable use of emoticons. I don't mind them in Skype or Slack messages - I was famous for using my "Queen" emoticon when making editorial pronouncements at one job - but using too many in a formal email looks amateurish and unprofessional. It's a smart idea to avoid emoticons, especially in an email.
5. Use email appropriately. Email is best for conveying lengthier thoughts. Use instant messenger for quick questions. In other words, don't hit "Respond All" and say "Thank you" or "Yes."

Better Emails, Easier Communications

If you're struggling with how to write a business email, and you're uncomfortable writing longer emails, think about how you can overcome your discomfort. What's holding you back?

Right now, we're all struggling to work virtually, juggling Slack, Skype, text, and email messages. But let's face it: email is also an important aspect of all workplace communications, pandemic or no pandemic. Learning how to write effective business emails is an important skill everyone should master.

(c) by Jeanne Grunert - "the Marketing Writer" at Seven Oaks Consulting, a content marketing writing agency in Prospect, Virginia.

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by Jeanne Grunert

Tips for Working from Home

These tips for working from home may help you be more productive, especially if you aren't used to telecommuting.

Working from home isn't everyone's favorite. Some people do love the social atmosphere of the office; others need the structure. It can feel strange, exhilarating, or even scary to work from your kitchen table. Below are my five best tips for working from home during the national COVID-19 crisis.

The COVID-19 Crisis and the Workplace

As of today, March 17, 2020, almost the entire United States has issued a warning to stay at home and enact social distancing policies to prevent the spread of coronavirus (COVID-19).

What began as the new flu from the Wuhan area in China has now swept the globe, straining healthcare systems and making many sick.

Most companies in the United States have asked employees to work from home. Some reading this are shrugging; it's nothing new. They've worked from home during previous disasters including Hurricane Katrina or Hurricane Sandy, for example, or like me, after 9/11. (I was in New York City on 9/11.)

But for those new to working from home, you may feel like you're losing your mind without the structure of the typical workday. Where's the commute? The line at Starbucks? Dropping your kids or your dogs off at daycare? It's gone. Normalcy is gone!

I've worked from home for the past 13 years. And, although I don't have children, I do have tips for working from home that will apply even if you do have kids. These tips will help you remain productive despite the lure of Netflix binges, the ever-present refrigerator, and everything else calling your name.

Tip 1: Establish a daily routine.

This is so important! Routine and structure are what people rely upon to get through their days. Even if you consider yourself a spontaneous person, your days do have a structure to them when you commute to a job outside of the home. Among my tips for working from home, finding your own personal schedule is of utmost importance.

Tip 2: Get dressed as if you are going to work.

Among my tips for working from home, this one might seem silly, but it works. Dress as if you are going to work for the day or at least going out of your home. Shower, dress in business casual or nice casual clothes, comb and fix your hair, put on jewelry and makeup if you wear it. You're ready to be productive, greet the mailman, or hop onto a video call without a problem.

Tip 3: If you can, set "quiet hours."

Quiet hours are the time slots in my day when I might ask my husband to look after the dog. These are the hours when I have to jump onto a conference or video call and I don't want Zeke to start barking or jumping onto my lap (a 100-pound German shepherd leaping into the video conference can be distracting.) My spouse takes him outside and looks after him (he also works from home.)

If you have children and they are old enough to understand, enforce quiet time. Close the door to your office or the room you're in; if you're working from the kitchen table, put up a sign that says QUIET TIME and let them watch a movie or whatever with headphones on.

Tip 4: Take breaks.

When you're new to working from home, it's often all or nothing. You may be all work and no play or the opposite -- you can't focus on your work and just want to enjoy that book or movie.

Schedule blocks of time for yourself during the day. It's okay to get up and walk around your house or apartment or step outside (keep to the social distancing requirements though!). Make a cup of tea or coffee. Rest your eyes.

It's okay to take care of yourself and not be a slave to your computer.

Tip 5: Stay connected.

Working from home can be lonely. Before the COVID-19 outbreak, I looked forward to my weekly choir practice session and church service. It was my time to be around people I liked in a place I love doing things I love. Now, however, I'm at home with my husband, dog, and seven cats. I work alone except for a handful of freelancers and right now, none of them are working on a project with me.

So what do I do? I stay connected with friends, former colleagues, and family. I make it a point to pick up the phone or Skype someone daily. It's a great time to reach out and check on someone especially the elderly and vulnerable.

Make it a point to stay connected. Tips for working from home may include utilizing channels like Skype or Slack to drop quick notes to colleagues, video hours when you can all collaborate or just be there for each other, or phone calls.

Just because you must physically distance yourself from others doesn't mean you need to be emotionally distant, too.

The Bottom Line: This Too Shall End

Just like you, I'm eager to know when this whole thing will end and the world will return to normal. None of us have a crystal ball, so any predictions you read, hear or see about when the "stay at home and don't go into crowded places" rule is relaxed are just guesses.

If you're working from home for the foreseeable future, it will soon feel normal. Not everyone will enjoy it. Some will yearn to return to their daily commute and the structure they once enjoyed. Some people love the socialization of an office; I'm one of them, actually, and often miss working with colleagues I know, like, and trust.

But in the long run, we don't have a choice. To keep others healthy and safe, we must make concessions.

We Are Making Small Sacrifices for a Larger Goal

My dad was a World War II veteran, drafted at age 18 into the Navy. He spent his 19th birthday aboard a Navy communications vessel in the Pacific Ocean, far from his family and friends.

He never complained about the sacrifices he made during wartime and often looked back with pride at what he and the others had accomplished during that time of global crisis.

Someday, we'll look back at the coronavirus outbreak with the same feeling of pride that my dad had for his war contributions. We'll be happy that we contributed to the solution, not the problem. We stayed at home and became telecommuters. It's not much of a sacrifice compared to blood, sweat, and toil of the Greatest Generation during wartime.

But it's something, and it will save lives.

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by Jeanne Grunert

Good Management Is An Art

Good management is an art rather than a science.

Indeed.com, like many websites, offers skill tests. I've taken a few. Some are crazy hard, some aren't what you think they are, and some, like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, was just right.

The marketing tets - just right. The SEO test - just right.  But the management skills test? Difficult to say.

The test included multiple choice questions as well as audio clips that you listen to and then choose the correct response. The audio clips were strange. They were supposed to be a manager talking to her team. You're then asking to evaluate her management skills.

Why the Test Is Flawed

My issue with the test is that I believe management is a nuanced skill. No two situations require the same approach. I once had an employee who was chronically late for work and showed up clearly hung over. His tardiness differed from another employee who also showed up late and seemed hung over. Her issue, I later learned, wasn't overindulgence in the party lifestyle but rushing to drop off a cranky child at daycare every day.

Should I have immediately judged both employees similarly? You can't apply the same response to each person. I knew, for example, that Employee B was a single mom. I suspected Employee A had been hitting the bars and dance clubs too often and too hard. But the only facts I had to deal with were 1) they were both showing up for work after 10 a.m. when business hours required them to be at their desk at 9 a.m.

My preferred approach is always to sit privately with someone and ask what's going on. If I've built up enough trust with someone, they will tell me what's going on. In all cases, I try to find a happy medium.

For Employee B, we agreed she could work through her lunch hour to make up the hour she missed. Her job required her to be on location, at the office, but whenever we could allow her to telecommute, we did. It seems clear to me that single parents, male or female, may need a little more flexibility to handle unexpected childcare needs.

For Employee A, after our discussion, he admitted he was having trouble with drugs and alcohol. That was a punch in the gut for me as I cared for him very much as a person and a friend. I'd worked with him for a long time and it was hard to hear him tell me some things. In the end, though, I worked it out with human resources to find him the assistance he needed to get treatment for his addiction problems. It was tough.

Good Management Is an Art

Good management is an art and a learned skill than a science. I've attended management courses throughout the years and all have been helpful, but the most helpful management training I received was direct mentoring from one of the best managers I have ever worked for in my career. He took me under his wing and coached me to be the manager I am today.

I would never say that I'm a perfect manager, by any means. But I successfully manage teams I've never met through remote, telecommuting work, because I ask the right questions, build rapport, and hold people accountable.

These are things that can be difficult to measure in a multiple choice test. But when all is said and done, no two people manage the same way. It's really all about fit with a company's style, culture, and the manager's approach.

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by Jeanne Grunert

Three Leadership Qualities

We often equate leadership qualities today with qualities that are actually antithetical to good leadership. The bluster, brashness, and bragging often associated with leadership point to weakness, not strength, when it comes to leaders.

What makes a leader?

Watching the coverage this week of former President Bush's funeral, I was struck by several things.

President Bush exhibited a gracious approach to life. He understood the power of a simple thank-you. He understood the power of kindness. Not many leaders today, in business or in politics, understand this.

Secondly, his humility impressed me. All of his speeches formed humble pictures, many tributes to others. The elegance and grace of his words spoke to a time when American understood that political stance and divisive behavior moved aside post-election.

Lastly, his ability to connect with others, some of whom were former opponents, clearly spoke of leadership qualities.

I made a video discussing my impressions of these leadership characteristics and how business people may parlay them into qualities for success. Watch it below.

 

Business Leaders, Take Note

There are several lessons to be learned from this. CEOs and business leaders who understand the power of kindness and a gracious approach to their everyday interactions with their peers and subordinates tend to achieve better results than those who act dictatorially towards their staff.

Research bears this out. A study from the State University of New York at Binghamton demonstrates that leaders with a benevolent style tend to achieve stronger result than those with a dictatorial style. In other words, nice leaders finish first.

Are You Afraid to Be "Too Nice?"

I've heard that so often in my career - leaders saying they put on a mean mask to prevent others from thinking they are 'too nice.' They think that if subordinates view them as nice people, they will be viewed as weak and others take advantage of them.

St. Francis de Sales, a 17th century bishop of Geneva, Switzerland, wrote, "Nothing is as strong as gentleness, and nothing is as gentle as strength." Be gentle, kind and firm, and you will achieve the best results. Consistent guidance, clear communication, and a kind approach to human relationships will always take you further than you anticipate.

 

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by Jeanne Grunert

Stopping Workplace Gossip

Stopping workplace gossip may be impossible, but it should be among your priorities as a leader. Workplace gossip wastes time, ruins reputations, and generally does more harm than good.

I've written a new piece for Medium this week Gossip in the Workplace - Stop Before Someone Gets Hurt.

I know that it is human nature to gossip, to share, to communicate. But I also believe that gossip can be the root of many workplace evils. It certainly wastes time. It can ruin good people's reputations and cause damage that takes a long time to get over.

As a Virtual VP, a manager who heals and energizes teams for companies worldwide, I know that gossip flourishes in a culture of fear. Excessive workplace gossip is often a sign of poor communications. Employees, starved for accurate, honest information, speculate and share their guesses (gossip) for validation and feedback with coworkers. The result? Gossip, a lot of incorrect guesses, and a corporate culture that thrives on rumor. When the rumor mill takes over and is the best source of information in a company, you've got an unhealthy company environment that should be fixed.

The Cure for Workplace Gossip

The cure isn't simple but it is straightforward. To stop excessive workplace gossip, focus on:

• Honesty - be honest with your employees even if the news is unpleasant
• Truth - always speak the truth when asked a question. It's better to say, "I can't answer that now" than to
• Trust - develop a reputation as a trustworthy leader, and those who work with you will trust your word when you speak
• Openness - openness goes hand-in-hand with honesty and truth. Be open with your team about what's going on. Share what you can. Keep them updated. Enact an open-door policy so they can talk to you about whatever is bothering them.

 

Gossip flourishes in a culture of secrecy. It's like a mushroom; it needs darkness to thrive. Honesty, truth, trust, and openness are light and air and warmth thrown onto a cold, slimy, dark situation. They squash rumors and keep the air clean, the office free from harmful gossip.

Think of truth like Lysol for the conversation. It kills 99% of gossip germs before they start.

 

 

 

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by Jeanne Grunert

Leadership Styles: No, It's Not Okay to Yell at People

The Tyrant is one leadership style that casts a long shadow. I've worked hard to heal teams damaged by The Tyrant and have worked under them. Learn more about this leadership style and why it can be so hard to combat.

Leadership Styles: The Tyrant

Have you ever watched the show Midsomer Murders? It's on Netflix and it's one of my favorite shows. There's something infinitely comforting about Inspector Tom Barnaby, his wife Joyce, and the sidekicks who accompany him into the beautiful countryside of England solving heinous crimes.

Last night, we watched an old episode from Season 9 called "Death in Chorus." Peter Capaldi (a former Doctor Who) plays Laurence, a perfectionistic choir master leading the Midsomer Worthy choir. Laurence is determined to win the trophy in a choir competition and has his amateur choir singing a complicated Bach piece along with a few lilting madrigal-type songs.

Now, I've been singing in choirs since I was 11 years old and founded the children's choir at my former church. I have sung in high school choirs, church choirs, amateur choirs. I have taken voice lessons, led worship services and rehearsals, and conducted both children and adult choirs.

And I can tell you one thing the writers of Midsomer Murders got very wrong with the character of Laurence:

Leaders don't yell at their teams. (I've never seen, heard, or experienced a conductor yelling, either. Especially not with volunteers or amateurs!)

Laurence yells. He scolds. He belittles. He never praises. Everyone is a dolt - except himself, of course. He is brilliant. He has been cheated of the glory he sought leading the Cathedral choir so he takes out his misery on the amateurs, the volunteers, the housewives like Joyce Barnaby, professionals like George Bullard the pathologist who works with Detective Barnaby, shopkeepers, and estate owners alike.

In fact, if Laurence had been my conductor, I would have shown him where he could stick his baton.

He's so obnoxious that he tells someone they're "half a semitone" flat. Honey, if you tell me that, but you don't tell me how to fix it, you're a lousy conductor - and leader.

Leadership Styles: The Tyrant and the Shadow Artist

Laurence is what Julia Cameron in her brilliant book The Artist's Way would have called a Shadow Artist. Shadow Artists are frustrated artists who, instead of fulfilling their artistic talents, pursue careers alongside artists. Art critics are Shadow Artists. Conductors may or may not be, but in the case of this character, he certainly is because instead of playing the organ at the Cathedral, he's "stuck" conducting an amateur choir.

Because he's filled with all that pent-up rage, he acts like a complete jerk towards the choir.

He bullies. He snipes. He never has a kind word for anyone.  He acts as if they are all subhuman, without talent, and only he can save the day.

Does this sound familiar?

There are bosses out there who fit this mold. I call them: The Tyrant.

Tyrant Bosses aren't easy to spot when you are interviewing, so if you work with a Tyrant, don't beat yourself up. You may not have been able to avoid it. Many come across as quite charming, sometimes even pleasantly assertive. They flatter and cajole you into working with them. Then, like any abusive relationship, it quickly becomes apparent that everything is your fault and that you can do no right and they can do no wrong.

Managing Around The Tyrant

There is no way for most people to deal with a Tyrant except to leave. If you can place a buffer layer of management between yourself and the Tyrant, you have a chance of surviving, but you won't survive unscathed. Many people suffer from PTSD after working too long for a Tyrant.

Tyrants are the antithesis of the Benevolent Leader. In fact, when I assume a role in an organization as a Virtual VP, my chosen and learned management style is Benevolent Leadership. If there is a Tyrant in the company, I quickly sniff them out and wait for the fireworks, because Tyrant and Benovelent Leaders are the counter opposite. I joke that I am allergic to them but it is true. Like an allergic reaction to a food, I break out into psychological hives when I am near a Tyrant.

Tyrants can only be worked around, not changed, so don't go into any work situation assuming you can change a Tyrant. The only thing that changes a Tyrant is punishment, and even that is fleeting. I once worked alongside a Tyrant Manager who was so awful to the female staff who worked with him that they complained to HR. He received a dressing down from HR and went on report for three months. He quieted his nature for three months, then, came roaring back. He was fired shortly thereafter for one too many name-calling and yelling routines; he lost his temper with a staff member in the hallway, and it was witnessed by several people. Thankfully, that company was a great company to work for, and they did not allow Tyrants to remain long.

But what if your company is like the magazine in The Devil Wears Prada where the Tyrant Boss rules the office? You can leave or put up with it. Some people, who maintain strong psychological shields, can work near Tyrants and let it roll off their backs. I am empathic and sensitive. I cannot do that. I need to put distance, both physical and emotional, between myself and Tyrants or I feel ill.

The choirmaster Laurence in Midsomer Murders was not, alas, the murder victim. I sort of wished he would be in that fictional show! Instead, at the end of the show, when his marriage falls apart, and he gets into a very public brawl in a pub with his arch-nemesis, he packs his bags and leaves.

Sometimes Tyrants do that. If they cannot get their way, and they cannot get the people around them to cower, they pick up their marbles to go play elsewhere. I've seen that, too. The day they quit is the day the entire staff celebrates, usually quite openly, and the company breathes a sigh of relief.

Why Are Tyrants Kept On?

Why are Tyrants kept on? If the leadership above them values Tyrannical behavior as "running a tight ship" or "getting things done," the Tyrant stays.

Another reason Tyrants stay is that many are able to hide their behavior from superiors but not from subordinates. Superiors think that subordinates are complaining about a very tough boss when they have legitimate complaints. The Tyrant plays off of this, feeding into the narrative that they are excellent leaders and those complaining about their leadership are weak, lazy, or both.

Healing from The Tyrant: Virtual VP, Compassionate Leadership

As a proponent of Kind Leaders and Benovelent Leadership, I can say, steer clear of the Tyrant. Will you ever lose your control in a business situation and shell? Maybe. If you do, apologize and move on. The Tyrant demonstrates a history of blowing hot and cold, yelling and belittling others, much more so than a single one-off event.

If you need to replace a Tyrant, the best move is to hire a Benevolent or Paternalistic leadership style to follow. There will be wounds, psychological wounds, among the staff left in the Tyrant's wake. It will take time and care to bind those wounds and achieve a functioning staff again. This is partially what I can do for you if you have recently let a Tyrant go. I have stepped into the breach and brought together very wounded people into a functioning team again. This is where the gift of kind leadership, empathic communication, and compassionate management works its magic.

The Tyrant. A leadership style to avoid, an ineffectual leadership style, and one that actually damages companies.

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by Jeanne Grunert