Good Management Is An Art

Good management is an art rather than a science.

Indeed.com, like many websites, offers skill tests. I've taken a few. Some are crazy hard, some aren't what you think they are, and some, like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, was just right.

The marketing tets - just right. The SEO test - just right.  But the management skills test? Difficult to say.

The test included multiple choice questions as well as audio clips that you listen to and then choose the correct response. The audio clips were strange. They were supposed to be a manager talking to her team. You're then asking to evaluate her management skills.

Why the Test Is Flawed

My issue with the test is that I believe management is a nuanced skill. No two situations require the same approach. I once had an employee who was chronically late for work and showed up clearly hung over. His tardiness differed from another employee who also showed up late and seemed hung over. Her issue, I later learned, wasn't overindulgence in the party lifestyle but rushing to drop off a cranky child at daycare every day.

Should I have immediately judged both employees similarly? You can't apply the same response to each person. I knew, for example, that Employee B was a single mom. I suspected Employee A had been hitting the bars and dance clubs too often and too hard. But the only facts I had to deal with were 1) they were both showing up for work after 10 a.m. when business hours required them to be at their desk at 9 a.m.

My preferred approach is always to sit privately with someone and ask what's going on. If I've built up enough trust with someone, they will tell me what's going on. In all cases, I try to find a happy medium.

For Employee B, we agreed she could work through her lunch hour to make up the hour she missed. Her job required her to be on location, at the office, but whenever we could allow her to telecommute, we did. It seems clear to me that single parents, male or female, may need a little more flexibility to handle unexpected childcare needs.

For Employee A, after our discussion, he admitted he was having trouble with drugs and alcohol. That was a punch in the gut for me as I cared for him very much as a person and a friend. I'd worked with him for a long time and it was hard to hear him tell me some things. In the end, though, I worked it out with human resources to find him the assistance he needed to get treatment for his addiction problems. It was tough.

Good Management Is an Art

Good management is an art and a learned skill than a science. I've attended management courses throughout the years and all have been helpful, but the most helpful management training I received was direct mentoring from one of the best managers I have ever worked for in my career. He took me under his wing and coached me to be the manager I am today.

I would never say that I'm a perfect manager, by any means. But I successfully manage teams I've never met through remote, telecommuting work, because I ask the right questions, build rapport, and hold people accountable.

These are things that can be difficult to measure in a multiple choice test. But when all is said and done, no two people manage the same way. It's really all about fit with a company's style, culture, and the manager's approach.

by Jeanne Grunert

Three Leadership Qualities

We often equate leadership qualities today with qualities that are actually antithetical to good leadership. The bluster, brashness, and bragging often associated with leadership point to weakness, not strength, when it comes to leaders.

What makes a leader?

Watching the coverage this week of former President Bush's funeral, I was struck by several things.

President Bush exhibited a gracious approach to life. He understood the power of a simple thank-you. He understood the power of kindness. Not many leaders today, in business or in politics, understand this.

Secondly, his humility impressed me. All of his speeches formed humble pictures, many tributes to others. The elegance and grace of his words spoke to a time when American understood that political stance and divisive behavior moved aside post-election.

Lastly, his ability to connect with others, some of whom were former opponents, clearly spoke of leadership qualities.

I made a video discussing my impressions of these leadership characteristics and how business people may parlay them into qualities for success. Watch it below.

Business Leaders, Take Note

There are several lessons to be learned from this. CEOs and business leaders who understand the power of kindness and a gracious approach to their everyday interactions with their peers and subordinates tend to achieve better results than those who act dictatorially towards their staff.

Research bears this out. A study from the State University of New York at Binghamton demonstrates that leaders with a benevolent style tend to achieve stronger result than those with a dictatorial style. In other words, nice leaders finish first.

Are You Afraid to Be "Too Nice?"

I've heard that so often in my career - leaders saying they put on a mean mask to prevent others from thinking they are 'too nice.' They think that if subordinates view them as nice people, they will be viewed as weak and others take advantage of them.

St. Francis de Sales, a 17th century bishop of Geneva, Switzerland, wrote, "Nothing is as strong as gentleness, and nothing is as gentle as strength." Be gentle, kind and firm, and you will achieve the best results. Consistent guidance, clear communication, and a kind approach to human relationships will always take you further than you anticipate.

by Jeanne Grunert

Stopping Workplace Gossip

Stopping workplace gossip may be impossible, but it should be among your priorities as a leader. Workplace gossip wastes time, ruins reputations, and generally does more harm than good.

I've written a new piece for Medium this week Gossip in the Workplace - Stop Before Someone Gets Hurt.

I know that it is human nature to gossip, to share, to communicate. But I also believe that gossip can be the root of many workplace evils. It certainly wastes time. It can ruin good people's reputations and cause damage that takes a long time to get over.

As a Virtual VP, a manager who heals and energizes teams for companies worldwide, I know that gossip flourishes in a culture of fear. Excessive workplace gossip is often a sign of poor communications. Employees, starved for accurate, honest information, speculate and share their guesses (gossip) for validation and feedback with coworkers. The result? Gossip, a lot of incorrect guesses, and a corporate culture that thrives on rumor. When the rumor mill takes over and is the best source of information in a company, you've got an unhealthy company environment that should be fixed.

The Cure for Workplace Gossip

The cure isn't simple but it is straightforward. To stop excessive workplace gossip, focus on:

• Honesty - be honest with your employees even if the news is unpleasant
• Truth - always speak the truth when asked a question. It's better to say, "I can't answer that now" than to
• Trust - develop a reputation as a trustworthy leader, and those who work with you will trust your word when you speak
• Openness - openness goes hand-in-hand with honesty and truth. Be open with your team about what's going on. Share what you can. Keep them updated. Enact an open-door policy so they can talk to you about whatever is bothering them.

Gossip flourishes in a culture of secrecy. It's like a mushroom; it needs darkness to thrive. Honesty, truth, trust, and openness are light and air and warmth thrown onto a cold, slimy, dark situation. They squash rumors and keep the air clean, the office free from harmful gossip.

Think of truth like Lysol for the conversation. It kills 99% of gossip germs before they start.

by Jeanne Grunert

Leadership Styles: No, It's Not Okay to Yell at People

The Tyrant is one leadership style that casts a long shadow. I've worked hard to heal teams damaged by The Tyrant and have worked under them. Learn more about this leadership style and why it can be so hard to combat.

Leadership Styles: The Tyrant

Have you ever watched the show Midsomer Murders? It's on Netflix and it's one of my favorite shows. There's something infinitely comforting about Inspector Tom Barnaby, his wife Joyce, and the sidekicks who accompany him into the beautiful countryside of England solving heinous crimes.

Last night, we watched an old episode from Season 9 called "Death in Chorus." Peter Capaldi (a former Doctor Who) plays Laurence, a perfectionistic choir master leading the Midsomer Worthy choir. Laurence is determined to win the trophy in a choir competition and has his amateur choir singing a complicated Bach piece along with a few lilting madrigal-type songs.

Now, I've been singing in choirs since I was 11 years old and founded the children's choir at my former church. I have sung in high school choirs, church choirs, amateur choirs. I have taken voice lessons, led worship services and rehearsals, and conducted both children and adult choirs.

And I can tell you one thing the writers of Midsomer Murders got very wrong with the character of Laurence:

Leaders don't yell at their teams. (I've never seen, heard, or experienced a conductor yelling, either. Especially not with volunteers or amateurs!)

Laurence yells. He scolds. He belittles. He never praises. Everyone is a dolt - except himself, of course. He is brilliant. He has been cheated of the glory he sought leading the Cathedral choir so he takes out his misery on the amateurs, the volunteers, the housewives like Joyce Barnaby, professionals like George Bullard the pathologist who works with Detective Barnaby, shopkeepers, and estate owners alike.

In fact, if Laurence had been my conductor, I would have shown him where he could stick his baton.

He's so obnoxious that he tells someone they're "half a semitone" flat. Honey, if you tell me that, but you don't tell me how to fix it, you're a lousy conductor - and leader.

Leadership Styles: The Tyrant and the Shadow Artist

Laurence is what Julia Cameron in her brilliant book The Artist's Way would have called a Shadow Artist. Shadow Artists are frustrated artists who, instead of fulfilling their artistic talents, pursue careers alongside artists. Art critics are Shadow Artists. Conductors may or may not be, but in the case of this character, he certainly is because instead of playing the organ at the Cathedral, he's "stuck" conducting an amateur choir.

Because he's filled with all that pent-up rage, he acts like a complete jerk towards the choir.

He bullies. He snipes. He never has a kind word for anyone.  He acts as if they are all subhuman, without talent, and only he can save the day.

Does this sound familiar?

There are bosses out there who fit this mold. I call them: The Tyrant.

Tyrant Bosses aren't easy to spot when you are interviewing, so if you work with a Tyrant, don't beat yourself up. You may not have been able to avoid it. Many come across as quite charming, sometimes even pleasantly assertive. They flatter and cajole you into working with them. Then, like any abusive relationship, it quickly becomes apparent that everything is your fault and that you can do no right and they can do no wrong.

Managing Around The Tyrant

There is no way for most people to deal with a Tyrant except to leave. If you can place a buffer layer of management between yourself and the Tyrant, you have a chance of surviving, but you won't survive unscathed. Many people suffer from PTSD after working too long for a Tyrant.

Tyrants are the antithesis of the Benevolent Leader. In fact, when I assume a role in an organization as a Virtual VP, my chosen and learned management style is Benevolent Leadership. If there is a Tyrant in the company, I quickly sniff them out and wait for the fireworks, because Tyrant and Benovelent Leaders are the counter opposite. I joke that I am allergic to them but it is true. Like an allergic reaction to a food, I break out into psychological hives when I am near a Tyrant.

Tyrants can only be worked around, not changed, so don't go into any work situation assuming you can change a Tyrant. The only thing that changes a Tyrant is punishment, and even that is fleeting. I once worked alongside a Tyrant Manager who was so awful to the female staff who worked with him that they complained to HR. He received a dressing down from HR and went on report for three months. He quieted his nature for three months, then, came roaring back. He was fired shortly thereafter for one too many name-calling and yelling routines; he lost his temper with a staff member in the hallway, and it was witnessed by several people. Thankfully, that company was a great company to work for, and they did not allow Tyrants to remain long.

But what if your company is like the magazine in The Devil Wears Prada where the Tyrant Boss rules the office? You can leave or put up with it. Some people, who maintain strong psychological shields, can work near Tyrants and let it roll off their backs. I am empathic and sensitive. I cannot do that. I need to put distance, both physical and emotional, between myself and Tyrants or I feel ill.

The choirmaster Laurence in Midsomer Murders was not, alas, the murder victim. I sort of wished he would be in that fictional show! Instead, at the end of the show, when his marriage falls apart, and he gets into a very public brawl in a pub with his arch-nemesis, he packs his bags and leaves.

Sometimes Tyrants do that. If they cannot get their way, and they cannot get the people around them to cower, they pick up their marbles to go play elsewhere. I've seen that, too. The day they quit is the day the entire staff celebrates, usually quite openly, and the company breathes a sigh of relief.

Why Are Tyrants Kept On?

Why are Tyrants kept on? If the leadership above them values Tyrannical behavior as "running a tight ship" or "getting things done," the Tyrant stays.

Another reason Tyrants stay is that many are able to hide their behavior from superiors but not from subordinates. Superiors think that subordinates are complaining about a very tough boss when they have legitimate complaints. The Tyrant plays off of this, feeding into the narrative that they are excellent leaders and those complaining about their leadership are weak, lazy, or both.

Healing from The Tyrant: Virtual VP, Compassionate Leadership

As a proponent of Kind Leaders and Benovelent Leadership, I can say, steer clear of the Tyrant. Will you ever lose your control in a business situation and shell? Maybe. If you do, apologize and move on. The Tyrant demonstrates a history of blowing hot and cold, yelling and belittling others, much more so than a single one-off event.

If you need to replace a Tyrant, the best move is to hire a Benevolent or Paternalistic leadership style to follow. There will be wounds, psychological wounds, among the staff left in the Tyrant's wake. It will take time and care to bind those wounds and achieve a functioning staff again. This is partially what I can do for you if you have recently let a Tyrant go. I have stepped into the breach and brought together very wounded people into a functioning team again. This is where the gift of kind leadership, empathic communication, and compassionate management works its magic.

The Tyrant. A leadership style to avoid, an ineffectual leadership style, and one that actually damages companies.

by Jeanne Grunert